


Eres mi mundo

by Wolvesta



Series: Wolf’s Den of 9-1-1 Stories [7]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck is hurt but only for a little bit, Eddie has anger issues but he's trying, Eddie hurts Buck's feelings but is sorry, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Near Death Experiences, Same-Sex Marriage, Temporary Breakup, Wedding Fluff, no one dies relax
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23061463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolvesta/pseuds/Wolvesta
Summary: Prompt: Eddie and Buck are engaged and everything should be great and perfect right? Wrong! Every couple has disagreements but Eddie has a hard time talking things through so when Buck disagrees with him on something, Eddie takes offense to that. Buck says that they will always fight and that won’t change once they’re married and that’s ok. Eddie lashes out and says “well maybe we shouldn’t get married,” Buck is devastated and ends up taking off the engagement ring & leaving it in Eddie’s hand.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Wolf’s Den of 9-1-1 Stories [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551724
Comments: 9
Kudos: 418





	Eres mi mundo

They had just dropped off Christopher at a birthday party at a venue that will turn into a sleepover later that night. Buck and Eddie had been ecstatic at this, not only did they have a night to themselves, Christopher will be able to socialize more. They hadn’t had a night to themselves in a while and they were going to take advantage of it. They had recently gotten engaged and it was their first night in as fiancees and they had the whole night planned.

Buck was especially happy because it seems that they had been bickering more often than not. Not about big things such as finances, they both agreed to keep their finances to themselves, only sharing one bank account that will solely benefit Christopher in his future. They fought about little things that could easily be fixed if they just talked. Things like who’s turn it was to do the laundry, or who forgot to wash the dishes, or left their socks on the floor. Buck hated pointing fingers, but it was mostly Eddie’s fault. While yes, Buck can work on things like remembering to put his shoes away, Eddie didn’t need to blow up at it. It turned into a full-fledged fight, but Buck tried his best to calm him down by not yelling. But it didn’t work.

Last week’s fight honestly scared Buck more than he would like to admit. He had never seen Eddie get so mad about something so insignificant.

_The fight ended with Eddie breaking something._

_{~}{~}_

“Eddie, it’s fine. I’ll remember to close them all the way.” Buck can admit that he has a bad habit of leaving the cabinet doors and drawers open a little bit.

“No Buck you don’t understand! Christopher can hit his head or his knee on one of them”

“Eddie please I’m sorry. I’ll close them, I promise. And it’s fine, Christopher is taller than the drawers, so he knows to be careful”

“I don’t care! You need to know to close the doors, just like you need to close the refrigerator door all the way. God you’re so infuriating!” Eddie ended this yell by slamming a mug onto the kitchen island and it breaks up impact. The sound of the mug breaking sounds like a bomb in the silence of the house. Buck finds himself against the floor of the corner of the wall with his hands blocking his face. He waits for a moment and when he peaks past his hands, he sees Eddie across the room with a look of horror and self-loathing.

“B-buck…I-I ’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ Eddie stutters out. He slowly crawls towards where Buck is and stops in front of him. “I didn’t mean to scare you…I’m so sorry,” Eddie says reaching out to Buck but stops when Buck grabs his wrists. He turns his hand over and sees that his hand is bleeding. Buck gets up and pulls Eddie up with him. He sits him down their bed as he begins to disinfect, clean, and bandage the wound. He thanks God that Christopher is a heavy sleeper and didn’t hear anything.

“Buck please…” Eddie looks up at Buck with wide wet eyes as Buck cuts the last of the gauze and wraps the cut. Buck says nothing as he packs their first aid kit and puts it away in the bottom drawer of the bathroom sink, making sure to close it all the way. Eddie tries to grab his arm, but Buck passes back to the kitchen and starts closing all of the cabinets.

“Buck stop…stop Buck it’s ok. Evan please!” Buck stops in his tracks at the use of his first name. Eddie doesn’t use his first name at all unless he wants to tell him something that will make his heartbeat with love or dread. Buck takes a shuddering breath in and out then turns to go into their bedroom. He sits on the bed and takes a shuddering breath. He leans back when he sees Eddie kneeling in his space. Eddie’s heart breaks when he sees the pain and slight fear in his eyes.

“Oh sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry” Eddie slowly reaches for Buck again and Buck doesn’t move back. Eddie sobs as he practically throws himself onto Buck. He brings his arms and rests them on Buck’s shoulders as he runs his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry…god, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me…I didn't mean to do that…” Eddie could cry in relief as Buck lets out a breath and returns the hug. “Fuck…I’m sorry” Eddie whispers in his ear and Buck leans his head against Eddie’s neck.

“You scared me…” Buck says honestly and it makes Eddie’s heart bleed in horror.

“I didn’t mean to…I love you…I would never hurt you” Eddie says as he squeezes Buck closer.

“I love you too…why are we fighting?” Buck asks in a hoarse whisper and it’s obvious that Buck is on the verge of crying.

“I don’t know…but it’s my fault mi amor. I don’t…I don’t know how to let go of my anger. But I’m not mad at you…I promise you I’m not. Forgive me…” Eddie sobs as he stretches up from where he’s kneeling on the floor. He envelops Buck in a hug and Buck tightens his hold on Eddie. They find themselves holding each other after settling on the bed.

“Forgive me my love” Eddie whispers in the delicate edge of the silent night as he gently cups Buck’s face in his large hands and wipes the tear making its way down and Eddie hates that he’s the reason it’s there. “I love you…”

“I love you too…"

_{~}{~}_

Buck and Eddie had given Christopher a kiss and a wave goodbye. They were about to get into their car when a clearly drunk man yelled homophobic slurs at them. Buck could see that Eddie instantly tensed with his rage. Buck gently put a hand on Eddie’s arm but he shook it off. He knew what would happen next, Eddie would get into it with this idiot and they would get arrested.

“Eddie stop, it’s not worth it. He isn’t worth it” Buck practically pleaded with him and Eddie grunted as he went into his truck and slammed the door shut. Buck texted Athena about the drunk man near a children’s park after getting in the truck. Buck placed a hand on Eddie’s thigh, a gesture that would instantly calm him down, but this time he only became tenser. Buck sighed as he retracted his hand. At the driveway of their house, Buck hesitantly looked over to Eddie.

“Eddie…”

“No…just stop” Eddie practically growls as he slams the door to Buck’s truck shut and stomps into the house. Here they are again, in the middle of a stupid fight for something else.

“Why are you so mad at me?” Buck asked after he closed the door of their house.

“You didn’t let me stand up for us!” Eddie yells as he points outside.

“Eddie, it wasn’t worth it. He was drunk and-“

“So you’re saying we aren’t worth it?” Eddie gets in Buck’s space and he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Babe that’s not what I’m saying at all…I’m saying HE wasn’t worth it. Believe me, I wanted to hit that guy too, but Christopher could have seen” Eddie sighs as he pinches his eyes.

“God you’re right…I’m sorry…god why are we fighting again?” Eddie sighs as he looks up to the ceiling.

“It’s fine-“

“No, it’s not! I don’t want to fight anymore!”

“Eddie it’s going to be ok. We fight, but we work through it. Couples fight…and we’re no different. And that’s not going to change when we get married” Buck says hoping that Eddie will understand but is stopped when Eddie speaks.

“Well, maybe we shouldn’t get married!” Eddie yells at him. Buck’s face falls as he takes a step back. Buck looks forward with his mouth slightly open and stares at Eddie with a heartbreaking expression. The ever-present fog of anger disappears and Eddie is left with the pain of his words. Eddie’s face contorts into horror and heartbreak. Eddie gives Buck a look of sadness and no one moves for a long time. The weight of the words hanging in the air.

“Buck…that last part-“ Eddie cuts himself off when Buck’s face falls further. Buck leans forward to grab Eddie’s hand and he feels a small hope rising in him, but it’s crushed when Buck places his ring in Eddie’s hand and leaves his home.

{~}{~}

Eddie did everything he possibly could. He called, texted, left voicemails, even went to Maddie’s house to try and find him. But he isn’t anywhere to be seen the next day. Eddie had to have a heartbreaking conversation with Chris. He expected his papa to be home but was confused when he wasn’t. Eddie couldn’t tell him everything, but he couldn’t hide the truth either.

_“We had a bad fight mijo...and that was my fault. I got mad and I said a bad thing”_

_“Is he going to leave as mom did?” Christopher asks as he looks up to his dad with the saddest eyes Eddie had see. Losing Shannon was hard, but losing Buck is harder for Chris because he never left._

_“No, he won’t mijo. He loves you too much to leave you. He won’t…” Truth is Eddie is terrified that Buck is going to leave him. He knows Buck would never leave their son, but he hopes that Buck wouldn’t run from him before he can apologize and make him his husband. He just hopes that he didn’t screw up too badly. It had been almost half a year since he left the fighting ring, and while he is thankful that he got out, he misses the feeling of letting the anger go. And as much as will/can not return to the ring, he needs something to get his anger out. But that’s the problem, he has no reason to be angry. He has everything he’s ever needed, he has a wonderful son with a job he loves in a city he loves and has...well had a man that he was going to get married to soon._

_So why is he so angry all the time?_

It’s a question that Eddie wracks his brain as he walks into work the next day. He figured that Buck would talk to him when he’s ready but his texts when unanswered and unread throughout yesterday. He takes a deep breath as he steps out of the locker room. He takes a seat at the table and drops his head into the marble table and sighs. He barely slept at all last night, missing the human radiator that always attaches himself to his back. He thought he hated it but turns out he can’t sleep without him.

“You ok?” asks a voice from behind him and Eddie knows it’s Bobby. He looks up and can see that Bobby takes a seat in front of him.

“Bobby...I fucked up…Buck left last night” Eddie says as he looks at his left hand. He didn’t have the heart to take his ring off, because if he did, then he knew it would be over, and he doesn’t want it to be over. He feels the weight of Buck’s ring in his pocket.

“Yea Buck told us what happened,” Bobby says as he pours Eddie and himself some coffee. He places the cup in front of Eddie and he takes his time to inhale the strong aroma.

“He did?”

“He came to our house yesterday...Eddie, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know...I don’t know why I’m so angry all the time. I have nothing to be mad about, every little thing he does bothers me and it never did before. But I’m so angry and I don’t know why and I thought I had it under control but…I said something horrible and I think it broke up my family…”

“Eddie what did you say?” Bobby asks after handing Eddie a tissue.

“I told him that if we’re going to keep fighting then we shouldn’t get married…” Eddie says, forcing to relive what he had said. “But I said it in the heat of the moment and I didn’t mean it and now I can’t take it back. I’m terrified I ruined everything and I lost him…” Eddie answers as he feels tears welling up in his eyes. He covers his eyes with his hands and cries, letting out everything he had held in for all of yesterday. He feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Eddie what you said may have been out of anger, but Buck may not think that”

“But it was…”

“I know it was. But think about it, you two have been fighting about little things, mostly about what he’s done. Habits that never bothered you before you got engaged. Then you get engaged and you blow up about little things that he does. And when he tells you that it’s ok that you fight, you say you don’t want to get married”

“I never said that-”

“You may not have said that, but that’s what Buck heard,” Bobby says in a voice that forces Eddie to listen and then he gets it. God, he fucked up so bad. This was even worse than Shannon because he chased her away with his cowardliness and coldness. But it was so much worse this time because Eddie had messed up before he could even get married. And now he may not get a chance to.

“Do you love him?” Bobby asks and Eddie doesn’t even hesitate to answer.

“With all my heart”

“Then just talk to him. If you avoid this, then you may not have the chance to make up. Get open, get honest, invent yourselves again. And I would do it soon because he just walked in and we don’t want you out of sync for the next call.” Bobby gently claps his shoulder and leaves the loft as Buck is coming up the stairs and stops in front of Eddie.

“Buck…” Eddie starts but Buck shakes his head and turns to leave the loft but Eddie persists. “Buck, can we talk, please?”

“There is nothing to talk about Eddie, you made everything clear two days ago,” Buck says as sadness passes by in his eyes again.

“Buck wait please…” Eddie begs but Buck won’t hear it as he tries to leave Eddie but he grabs his arm. “Evan please listen…” Eddie cries and Buck slumps before turning around.

“What Eddie?” Buck asks in exasperation.

“I’m sorry-“ Eddie starts but Buck cuts him off.

“Eddie I can’t-no I don’t want to hear it. You spoke your mind, I’m done”

“Wh-what do you mean done? Buck please I didn’t mean it”

“That what you said last time too… _I didn’t mean to snap at you_ but you keep on doing it” Buck says as he shoots Eddie a look of disbelief and shakes his head. Eddie feels his heart squeeze in pain and he sighs in sadness.

“Buck the truth is I’m angry…”

“What for?” Buck asks after a moment.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know…I have nothing to be mad about…you make me so happy and-“

“That’s not what you’ve been saying, Eddie. Because you think I’m infuriating, annoying, can’t clean up after myself, a bad housemate, a bad boyfriend, and a bad fia-“

“Buck stop. I never said those things…” But Eddie stops, wondering just how long this has been going on. How long had he been hurting Buck?

“But you meant it. With every fight we’ve been having, those were the undertones. I can read between the lines Eddie” Buck replies, his voice hoarse with tears but refusing to let them fall. “So tell me…why are you always so mad at me? Because it’s only me. You don’t get mad at anyone else, not Chris, not abuela, not tia…just me. What did I do wrong?” Buck feels his face heat up and tears spill over as he breaks in the last part. Night after night after each fight, he wondered what he had done, and what the reason was for Eddie being mad. Buck hopes that Eddie didn’t see what he sees when he looks in the mirror.

“Buck…” Eddie whispers in horror. “No no no no no this was all my fault. I never wanted to look for a solution, I-I just wanted to be mad. But it was never you, I swear, it was all me…I did this” Eddie says lowly, reaching for Buck to wipe the tear off of his face but stops when the alarm rings. He looks at Buck to see him wiping his tears and going to his lockers to change. Eddie forces himself to do the same.

_They’ll finish this later_

{~}{~}

_Eddie is terrified that later will never come._

They had been called to a low rise apartment complex on fire. Eddie and Buck had been charged with clearing the third and fourth floors. Eddie had tried to hold Buck’s hand like they usually do when on their way to a call, but Buck scooted away from him when he tried to initiate contact. It broke Eddie’s heart, but he knows it’s nothing compared to what he made Buck feel. Bobby paired them off to go clear the floors and when they did, they were on their way out.

Bobby had called out to them saying the building is on the verge of collapsing and they need to get out fast. Eddie and Buck had almost made it to the stairs of the fourth floor when the floor gave out from underneath them.

“Buck!”

“Eddie!”

They both screamed for each other but Eddie doesn’t know anything else.

{~}{~}

Eddie’s surroundings come back to him after what seems like hours. But he knows it’s only been a few minutes. One: it’s still daylight out that he can see from the broken windows. Two: his cracked watch says 20 minutes have passed since entering the building. And Three: Bobby’s voice is static in his ears.

“Ie…Ed-ie. EDDIE respond!” He reaches up to answer his radio.

“Cap?” Eddie can hear the sigh of relief on the other side.

“Thank god. The building collapsed with you in it. We’re working as hard and fast to get you out.”

“Copy that…did Buck get out?” Eddie asks realizing he’s not with him. But Buck was closer to the exit than he was.

“We thought he was with you!” Eddie doesn’t hear anything after that because he is instantly on his feet but is stopped when he hears a groan. He looks beneath him and he is on top of Buck.

“Buck?!” Eddie gets off of him and feels his heartbreak at the sight. He then knows that Buck had protected him from falling on his neck.

_But while Buck protected Eddie, no one protected him._

“Cap? Cap, I found him…” Eddie speaks into his radio.

“How is he? Is he hurt?”

“I don’t know he’s unconscious, but I’ll make sure he’s ok”

“Copy that, we’re almost there Eddie. Give us 10 minutes” Buck doesn’t have that kind of time. Who knows what kind of injuries he sustained after he fell? Eddie forces himself to shut his emotions out as he remembers his medical training to assess the damage. Eddie takes off Buck’s turnout coat and sees the damage first hand. While it may not be a lot to a regular person, this could be bad for someone on blood thinners. Buck has numerous cuts and bruises forming on his torso, arms, and legs. None of them can cause blood loss. Buck is still wearing his helmet, so a concussion is a small possibility. His arms are not broken, and neither are his legs.

_So why isn’t he waking up?_

“Buck…can you hear me? I need you to wake up please” Eddie says in a serious tone, but breaks at the last word as he gently shakes Buck. At this, he hears another groan come from Buck.

“Eddie?” Buck asks hoarsely and Eddie could kiss him at relief.

“Hi…” Buck looks over to Eddie and his eyes close again. “No Buck…look at me. Look at me, I’m right here. Don’t go to sleep, you know the drill” Eddie grabs Buck’s hand and squeezes it. “Buck squeeze my hand please” Eddie waits and waits but he feels a small pressure in his hand. “That’s it…just keep squeezing, I need you to stay awake.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes, you can. I know you, you’re strong. You can do it, just please keep talking to me”

“I’m sorry Eddie…” Buck draws out in the quiet of the ruins of the building. And Eddie knows what he is apologizing for.

“Sorry for what love?” Eddie encourages, hoping that this conversation can keep Buck awake.

“For not being the one you deserve…” Buck says as he wheezes out.

“Oh no no no baby, you’ve got it all wrong…you’re more than I could have ever dreamed of. You love me, our son, my abuela and tia. You help others with things they need without regard to yourself. You are the most selfless man I have ever met, and I have the privilege of calling you mine…and I messed up. Buck, none of what happened was your fault. It was all mine…” Eddie doesn’t get to finish because Buck starts coughing and Eddie has to sit him up straight so he can get some proper air in his lungs.

After the coughing stops, Eddie pulls them to a wall away from the falling debris. He opens his coat and pulls Buck to his chest. Buck burrows his face into Eddie’s neck as Eddie pulls him in by his shoulders, covering him as best he can with his coat.

“Is this better?” Eddie asks quietly and Buck nods against him. “I’m so sorry I did this to us…I don’t know why I get so angry about things that don’t matter. I’ll do better…I’ll be better…” Buck says something as he lets out a breath and sags against Eddie. Eddie panics when he feels Buck fall asleep against him. He tries shaking him awake but nothing is working.

“Cap what’s your ETA? Buck just passed out again!”

“Almost there! Just hang on!” Eddie feels tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Eddie says in a sad voice as he pulls Buck impossibly closer to him. He unconsciously begins to rock Buck back and forth. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” Eddie says as he runs his fingers through Buck’s sweaty hair. “I didn’t mean it…I didn’t mean what I said. I love you with all my heart…I never thought it would happen again, but you snuck your way right into my heart Buck. I don’t know what I would do without you, so you need to fight. Fight for me…fight for our son. He’ll be mad if he found this out, but he wants to give you adoption papers as a wedding gift, so please let him do it.” Eddie sobs and sits up straighter to kiss Buck on the forehead.

“Oh, Buck…I don’t know if you can hear me…but I need you to know that I love you with all that I am. And when you wake up, I will show you just how much I love you. I’m going to marry the fuck out of you…if you still want to at least. I’ve been a horrible fiancee for you. I’ll get help…I’ll go to therapy. I’ll do anything for you” Eddie prays, begs and sobs when Buck still won’t stir. But it’s short-lived when he sees the remaining debris fall onto the floor as Hen and Chim drop to where they are.

{~}{~}

“Eddie...I think it’s time you go home” Bobby says from behind him. Eddie has taken vigil at Buck’s bedside and hasn’t left the room. Not even to go home and change out of his uniform. His turnout coat in the corner of the room along with Buck’s uniform. Buck’s coat was beyond repair, ripping at the seams when he fell.

“I can’t leave him…” Eddie says as he grips Buck’s hand while the other is gently brushing his hair back. Tears slowly making its way down his face. Buck’s arms are covered in gauze to cover the cuts he got on the way down. Eddie looks at Buck’s torso and gently runs his hand around his stomach.

He learned that Buck had 2 broken ribs, 3 cracked ribs, and internal bleeding. Just when Eddie thought it couldn’t get any worse, the doctor informed him that the broken ribs caused one of his lungs to collapse. They were able to successfully reinflate it, but they said he would have to be on a nasal cannula for a while. The collapsed lung was the worst of it, and everything else was just cuts that had been sealed.

_Now Eddie is just hoping that Buck will wake up._

“He wouldn’t want you to be stressed out like this…” Bobby tried again but stopped when Hen put a hand on his shoulder. She shook her head to give it a rest and Bobby nods. “Listen, Eddie, we’re going home, but you call us if there is anything you need ok?” Eddie nods but doesn’t take his eyes off of Buck.

Carla later comes by to visit Buck while pushing Eddie into the bathroom of the room with a bag of fresh clothes. Eddie hates to admit it, but the shower did help to get all of the dust and brim off of his hair and face, but it did nothing to wash away his grief. When he comes out of the bathroom, Carla is gone and Buck is still the way they left him. Eddie takes in the sight of Buck on the bed and he feels himself crying again. He takes a seat next to Buck’s bed, taking Buck’s limp hand in his own and starts to pet his hair.

“Buck...please come back to me...I’m sorry. Tu eres la luz de mi vida...the light of my life. You have my heart...just like I have yours, but I was careless with it. And I’m so sorry for that corazón, if you give me one chance, then I’ll do my absolute best to take better care of it. I can’t lose you, my love, I just can’t…” Eddie leans forward to place a kiss on Buck’s forehead and he leans his head on Buck’s chest to be closer to him.

“I love you…”

{~}{~}

Buck is confused when he looks around and all he sees is darkness. He hates the dark, but wherever he is right now, it’s wrapping around him like his comfort blanket at home. He finds himself wanting to say here because he feels safe. Before he can sit down on what he presumes to be the ground, he is blinded by a light. He blinks to try and clear his vision and when he does, he comes face to face with someone.

“...Mom?” Buck asks in disbelief.

“Hello my dear…” says the brown-haired woman in front of him before hugging her son. Buck instantly returns it, not believing this is real.

“Come on sweetheart…” she lets go and takes a step towards the light. “We can go together. There’s no pain over there, there’s only peace” she extends her hand and Buck is about to take it but stops when he hears a voice calling his name. He looks to his side and sees him and Eddie.

_“Buck...don’t leave me” there are tears in Eddie’s eyes. He pulls something out of his pocket and slips the ring on Buck’s finger. “Please...please don’t leave me. I love you with everything that I am...come back so I can marry you and make you mine. So Christopher can make you his other dad. The fire fam...as you call them, they need you...I need you. You know I’d follow you anywhere...but don’t go where I can’t follow…” Eddie buries his face into Buck’s shoulder and silently cries._

Buck looks back to his extended hand and he can see the ring on his finger where it wasn’t there before. He looks back to his mom who is also watching the scene unfold before her.

“I’m sorry mom, but I can’t go. Not yet…” Buck’s voice breaks.

“It’s ok my love. All in good time...does he take care of you?” she asks and Buck nods with tears as he watches Eddie.

“He does...I love him...but I miss you” Buck looks back to his mom with nostalgia in his eyes.

“I miss you too my dear Evan. But I’ll see you again someday, so please take your time. Tell Maddie that I love her, and I’m proud of the woman she’s become.” she says with love in her eyes and Buck hugs her one more time.

“I wish you could be at my wedding…” Buck says sadly.

“Oh, Evan...I will always be with you, right here” she points to where his heart is and she pushes him back away from the light. “I love you…”

{~}{~}

Buck’s surroundings come back to him again and he takes a moment to locate where he is. He instantly knows where he is because he’s been here too many times to remember. But he feels a weight on his chest and he knows it’s Eddie by the familiar weight. He lifts a shaky hand and places his fingers in Eddie’s hair. Eddie’s head instantly shoots up and he cries with relief when he hears Buck speak.

“Eddie?” His voice is heavy with exhaustion but it’s the best thing Eddie has heard since hearing his son cry at birth.

“Oh my god...hi there cariño...I’m so happy to see you,” Eddie says and he feels his heartbeat when Buck opens his eyes and looks at him. “Stay right here, I’ll be right back”. Eddie calls for a doctor and after they check over everything, they leave Buck to rest.

“I saw it…” Buck says and Eddie is confused.

“Saw what?”

“I saw a light...I saw my mom” Buck says and Eddie holds him a little tighter at the thought that he was so close to losing him. “But then I saw you...I couldn’t leave you” Eddie links their hands together and Buck looks at him again. “I heard you…”

“You did?” Eddie asks in disbelief and Buck nods slowly.

“I heard you...I love you too” Buck says, giving Eddie a small smile. Eddie gets up from his chair and leans forward to gently kiss Buck on his lips. Eddie tries to pour every ounce of love into this one kiss, so Buck can never doubt his place in Eddie’s life again. He brings both hands to cup Buck’s face and pulls him a little closer. Once they break off, Eddie looks at Buck in the eyes and he feels himself break. He drops his head onto Buck’s shoulder while he wraps his arm up Buck’s chest and rests it on the opposite shoulder, pulling him closer. The need for knowing he’s still with him is overpowering every emotion he has right now.

“Eddie…” Buck groans as he moves over in the medium-sized bed. He makes room for Eddie as he climbs into the bed, careful of the cannula and IV drip in Buck’s hand. Eddie says nothing as he cups Buck’s face again and peppers him with short, fast, gentle kisses. He kisses on his forehead, both his cheeks, on his nose, near his eyes and finally one last one on the lips.

“Fuck…I almost lost you again” Eddie says in a sad voice and Buck brings his hand to Eddie’s waist to pull him closer. Buck leaves his hand there, resting on Eddie’s soft shirt. The hand without an IV, he rests it between Eddie and him on the pillow.

“I’m here Eddie…”

“You fell unconscious after we fell…why did you do that?”

“…when we went down, all I thought about was protecting you and-“

“Buck…you broke my fall by using your own body and now you’re here because of me”

“I’d do it again in an instant-“

“Why?!” Eddie tries to yell, but it comes out as more of a sob than anything.

“…because I love you,” Buck says like it’s gospel and Eddie wants to believe him.

“After all the pain I’ve caused you? You were afraid of me…god cariño you were afraid of me. How can you even stand to be close to me?” Eddie sobs and all the emotion that he had been feeling for the past 24 hours are coming out in full.

“Because I love you…” Buck says again and it makes Eddie feel worse.

“Well, you shouldn’t…I treated you terribly, you trusted me with you and I broke you. You were hurt…badly hurt and it was all because of me”

“I was badly hurt, Eddie…but I know it’s because you were afraid to lose what we built. I know that now. I know that getting married is bringing up a lot of bad thoughts of Shannon and what you had with her…but you have to know that I am not her, and I would never leave you nor Christopher willingly. Not if I can help it” Buck says wiping the tear off of Eddie’s face.

“I don’t deserve you…, god I’ve been horrible to you. But you’re right Buck, I think I’ve been projecting a lot of insecurities onto you and a marriage that hasn’t even happened. But I’ll get help, I go to therapy, I need to work on a lot of things, but I promise to be a better person for you Buck” Buck nods and doesn’t respond for what seems a long time, but it can’t be more than a few minutes.

“When you told me that you think we shouldn’t get married, I thought...” Buck shakes his head and lets his head fall further into the surprisingly fluffy pillow. Eddie places his hand on Buck’s cheek and he leans into the touch.

“What is it?” Buck doesn’t answer, so Eddie runs his thumb along his cheek in soft encouragement. “Querido...talk to me please?” Buck sighs but nods.

“I thought you finally saw what I see...”

“What do you see?”

“...that I wasn’t good enough to be with you. I thought you finally woke up and saw that you could be with someone just as smart as you, less selfish and just better-“ Eddie cuts Buck off softly by kissing him on lips.

“I’m already with a man just as smart as me”

“Really?”

“Yea...he has mile-long legs. He has these gorgeous blue eyes and such a beautiful smile. When I’m having a bad day, I just have to look at him and my son to know that everything will be good again. And don’t tell him I said this, but I love his butt. He’s the most selfless man I’ve ever met and I’m so lucky to call him mine...at least I hope he is”

“He still wants to be...” Buck says looking up at him with the eyes he loves so much.

“I’ll do better Buck...I promise” Eddie says as he pulls Buck closer to him. Buck instantly folds himself against Eddie.

“I just don’t want you to regret me...”

“Never...I regret my behavior towards you, but I don’t regret you. I don’t regret anything about you mi corazón, not one thing” by the time Eddie finishes, Buck is in tears at the love he feels coursing through him. Eddie smiles sadly at this and gently used his thumb to wipe the stray tear, careful of the bruise on Buck’s face.

“I am sorry I scared you that night, I didn’t mean it. I lost my temper, but I’m going to get help for it. I won’t become someone you or Christopher is afraid of. I promise...”

“I believe you...and I love you”

“I love you too...Evan Buckley, will you marry me?”

“Eddie Diaz...yes I will marry you”

{~}{~}

When Buck was discharged almost 4 days later, Eddie pulled over to talk to Buck.

“Let’s get married...” Eddie says and Buck is confused. He holds up his hand to show Eddie the ring.

“We already are Ed”

“No, I mean right now. Let’s go home, grab Chris and go to the courthouse to get married.”

“I thought we were going to have a wedding”

“We can always have a reception, but I don’t want to waste another moment with you. Please Buck, Tu eres mi mundo, you’re my world and I don’t want to waste more time. What do you say?” Eddie asks, his eyes widening in excitement and Buck naturally mirrors it.

“...yea...YES! Let's get married!” Eddie grabbed Buck’s hand and sped to their house to grab Christopher, change into suits and go to the courthouse. They waited almost two hours, but the excitement never stops coursing through them. When the receptionist calls their names, Eddie grabs Buck’s hand to help him up. He’s still a little shaky on his feet, but Eddie and Chris are there every step of the way.

After presenting their ID’s and filling out the necessary paperwork, they recite their vows in front of the Justice of the Peace.

“Buck...when I first met you, I thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. I know these seem kinda silly cause we were together before we even started dating. After Shannon...I never thought I could love again, but then I found you and I found a home in you. I love you and the life we’ve built together”. Buck wiped the stray tear from his face and smiled brightly at Eddie.

“Eddie, before I met you I was stuck in my head. Wondering why I was never good enough for people who claimed they love me to stay. But after we grew closer, you snuck your way into my heart no matter how hard I didn’t want you to. I used to feel like I wasn't much good...being by myself and for a long time, I was alone. But when I’m with you, I don’t feel so alone anymore, I feel happy and I didn’t know I deserved to be. I feel that it’s ok to just be me, so I wanna be me with you”.

The Justice smiles and asks for the exchange of rings and Christopher hands them over.

“Do you, Eddie Diaz, take Evan Buckley to be your husband to have and to hold in this world and the next?

“I do!” Eddie says squeezing Buck’s hands.

”And do you, Evan Buckley, take Eddie to be your husband to have and to hold in this world and the next?”

“I do”

“Then by the power vested in me by the state of California and the city of LA, I now pronounce you spouses!” Eddie and Buck look at each other for a moment before sharing a kiss.

“Hello Evan Buckley-Diaz”

“Hello Eddie Diaz-Buckley” they feel a tug on their pants and see Chris wanting a hug too, they lift him and pepper his face with kisses.

“Congratulations dads,” He says as he squeezes them both on their necks. Buck tears up from the new name, but he loves it. He looks to the corner and he swears he sees the silhouette of his mom, smiling at him before disappearing. In the arms of his boys, there’s no place he'd rather be.

* * *

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